Define Me Read online

  Define Me

  By

  Culine Ramsden

  All rights reserved:

  Names and characters appearing in this work are entirely fictitious. Any resemblance to real people, living or dead is purely coincidental. No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or otherwise, without express written permission of the author.

  Disclaimer:

  I don’t own any of the brands i.e. Nike, CK, etc. or the music that might appear in the story.

  Acknowledgements

  I want to dedicate this book to my family. Firstly to my darling husband Glenn, my very own Prince Charming. We actually did meet on a volleyball court. Thank you for believing in me, for allowing me to follow my dreams.

  Secondly to my wonderful son, Cameron. He was diagnosed with ADD first then they said it was ADHD and eventually dyslexia. Watching him go through primary school was heart breaking. People are so quick to label a kid, make them an outcast because they are a little different from the rest. Instead of helping him he was bullied by teachers telling him he is worth nothing, as much as we tried to fix the damage he eventually believed them.

  I also have dyslexia and I am an Afrikaans “boertjie”, I wrote this book to show him that no matter what the world throws at you, you get up and keep going and you prove to yourself not the world that you can do this. Life is your journey, you define who you want to be, and you choose what you want to do with the obstacles that have been put in your way.

  “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. – Ralph Waldo Emerson”

  To my beautiful little girls Caitlin and Cassy-Ann always on the lookout for mommies book boyfriends.

  Thank you to Jeremy Mooney (Cover Model), Jennifer Tanner (photographer), Jozanne Martz (Cover Model), Braydon Ramsden (photographer) and Gert Erasmus for creating the most amazing cover. I had this vision in my head of what I wanted and what I got was over and above.

  Thank you to my amazing friend Lisa Styer that did the editing for me and for believing in me and pushing me every day. To all the wonderful Facebook friends I have made, you guys are wonderful.

  And a big thanks you to all the Indie Authors you are a true inspiration.

  Playlist

  Tonight I’m getting over you - Carly Rae Jepsen

  Stronger – Kelly Clarkson

  Over you – Daughtry

  Roar – Katy Perry

  Star of something good – Daughtry

  I want crazy – Hunter Hayes

  Dark Side – Kelly Clarkson

  All of me – John Legend

  Added extra, inspiration while writing

  Wild Heart – Daughtry (reminds me of what Caitlin was like before Hunter)

  Cry with you – Hunter Hayes (Brent’s feelings for Caitlin)

  Hey Girl – Billy Currington (When Vincent first saw Caitlin)

  Just a kiss – Lady Antebellum (The start of Vincent and Caitlin’s relationship)

  Waiting for Superman – Daughtry (Vincent’s love for Superhero t-shirts)

  Young Love – Kip Moore (Vincent and Caitlin’s relationship.

  Wanted – Hunter Hayes (Theme song)

  Contents

  Define Me

  Culine Ramsden

  Acknowledgements

  Playlist

  Added extra, inspiration while writing

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 1

  Brent

  It was the start of the school year, at yet another new school. I had been expelled from so many schools since my father skipped out on my Mom and myself a few years ago. He was an asshole, loved his booze and enjoyed knocking my mom around. Did the same to me till I was big enough to stand up to him, which was the day he left.

  I sometimes felt my mom blamed me for him leaving. I had so much anger inside of me. It was hell living like that every day, the only way I felt better was to knock the shit out of anything or anyone that stood in my way.

  This shit attitude got me into trouble and this was my last chance, I needed to pull it together, if I fucked it up here I was done, didn't know what my mom was going to do.

  I kept to myself; I didn’t give a damn what happened around me. The less I mixed with anyone the better my chances were to make it out of here without trouble. It was my final year, and then I was free to live my life.

  I was surprised at the girls, they had no shame. I've had my fair share of propositions but none that really interested me, except for her.

  Caitlin Steward was one of those girls who just didn’t know who and what she was. She was a bombshell, with blonde hair down to her ass, aqua blue eyes that look right into the depth of your soul and let’s not forget the rack on her. God, she was perfect in every way.

  She was captain of the Volley Ball team. Shit I can sit for hours watching her and Heather practice.

  Heather, well now that one was something else, the total opposite. A brunette with brown eyes and cheeky as hell. If I did not have a thing for this blonde beauty I sure as hell would have knocked on her door.

  When Caitlin was on the court she was happy, full of fun and from what I could see a little crazy.

  As usual my timing was crap, just my luck she was dating a freaking dipshit like Hunter Wesley, the captain of the Baseball team. He reminded me so much of my loser dad. He was controlling and I saw the signs, it was there with my mother too. She was always defending his shit attitude, “he was just tired, nobody understood him, and you don’t know what he was like when we were alone”.

  Yeah, whatever I had heard that too many times. Girl, open your eyes before it’s too late.

  I was forced to try out for the baseball team when I joined the school, but team sports weren’t really my thing and I was not in the mood. With my bad luck the coach saw something in me and wanted me for the team, Hunters substitute. Hunter did not like that idea, he saw me as a threat in so many ways. He went out of his way to let me know that I was not welcome and to stay away from what was his, which included Caitlin.

  It had been a crazy week. The final exams were upon us and Friday morning was the first time in a week that I saw Caitlin again. She asked one of the juniors, Tom to deliver the cupcakes to Hunter. Cupcakes she baked herself, with the message that she was waiting for him. Tom made the mistake of just barging in on Hunter and his buddies, telling him that Caitlin was waiting and he should hurry up. Tom was one of the few youngsters that I got on with, but what an idiot. Just like me Tom was hypnotized by Caitlin’s beauty and would do whatever she asked.

  Heather and Caitlin were waiting on the bleachers chatting; I was sitting not too far from them with some of the outcasts. Heather called me TDD. God alone knows what that stands for. While they were talking Caitlin glanced up, our eyes locked. We sat looking at each other till my eyes caught Tom running out. Caitlin jumped up and stopped Tom.

  Out of the corner of my eye I saw Hunter storming towards her, red faced and livid. A few of his buddies tried
to calm him down but they had no luck. Hunter pushed Tom out of the way, leaving the kid falling backwards onto one of Hunters buddies.

  Hunter stood so close to Caitlin, his hands gripping her upper arms so tight that his knuckles were turning white. Memories of THAT night when my dad left came flooding in. I stood up and made my way towards Caitlin. I might not have been able to save my mom that night but I was sure as hell not going to let that happen to Caitlin. She didn't know me but that didn’t mean she won't.

  Hunter started shouting at her that she has no right to send a douchebag like Tom to come and tell him what he should do. He wouldn’t even allow her to speak, like he is her Master and should do as she is told. Caitlin struggled out of his hands and was about to turn and run, tears pooling in her deep aqua eyes. But Hunter was not finished with her. How dare she turn her back on him, walk away from him. He grips her ponytail and yanks her back.

  That was it for me; I gripped Hunter by the back of his shirt. He let go of Caitlin, was shocked that anyone would even attempt to step in. He turned around and I landed a right hook on Hunter’s jaw and he dropped. He was crying like a baby, I think I must have broken it.

  “You are going to pay for this, asshole.”

  I turned towards Caitlin and with the hand that just dropped Hunter I lifted her head and wiped away some of the tears. For the second time that day I looked Caitlin straight in the eyes

  “An ass like this” pointing to Hunter “doesn’t deserve a princess like you!!”

  Caitlin was at a loss for words only when Hunter started shouting again did it break the spell.

  “Take your hands off my girl!”

  I turned around and grabbed Hunter by the throat. “You don't deserve her.”

  “And you think you do?”

  I leaned back but before I could land another punch, the Principal stepped in. As it goes the outcast was always the one in the wrong. Nobody was prepared to stand up to Hunter. He was the victim and I was the trouble maker.

  I never got to speak to Caitlin again as a few days later I was suspended from school. I could finish my exams but was not allowed to attend the graduation ceremony. My mother had enough and shipped me off to the army with the hope that it would straighten me out.

  The right hook I planted on Hunter broke his jawbone and he was out of action for a few weeks and the baseball scouts did not get to see him play, which cost him a sports scholarship to one of the Universities of California.

  My first few weeks in boot camp was hell. My shit attitude got me into a lot of trouble but eventually I learned to do what was expected of me. I found different ways to express my anger.

  I got a "Dear John" letter from my mom telling me that she had taken my dad back and that they would be moving back to Texas. Yeah, now that I was out of the way the jackass stepped in and promised her the world.

  I spoke to Tom and he told me that Hunter and Caitlin were also back together.

  I vowed that one day I would find her again and show her that I was worthy of her love. Let’s hope that I won’t be too late.

  Caitlin

  I was so ashamed after what Hunter did to me. How could I just stand there? Why did I allow him to embarrass me in front of my friends and even more shocking was Brent stepping in to defend me. Really a guy I don't even know stands up for me when I can't even do it for myself. I was such a fool.

  It had been weeks now and Hunter keeps telling me how sorry he was and that he loved me. I don't know maybe I should just give him/us another chance.

  After graduation, I had agreed to go on vacation with Hunter and his family. They were well respected in the community and my parents believed I was in good hands.

  Chapter 2

  The abuse from Hunter's side never really stopped but was always behind closed doors. My soul was dying little by little with every harsh word, every hard shove.

  I hid it well, not even Heather knew of all the abuse that went on. I loved him and I believed him when he said he loved me too.

  It was a vicious cycle of events and I just couldn’t get myself to leave. I was not sure if it was the fear of what he would do if I left or the fact that I would be alone.

  Within the first week of the holiday, he had started his shit with me, manipulating me to get what he wanted. On the one hand telling me how much he loved me and couldn’t be without me and then telling me that it was my fault that he did not get into the right university, his life is ruined because of me. I was ready to pack my bags and go home but his parents already paid for the holiday and according to Hunter the only thing I could really do was to suck it up and do as I was told.

  I loved him and would do anything to please him, even if it meant selling my soul to the devil and he was pure evil.

  Ups and downs, just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse and there was no going back he would say how sorry he was and that I should forgive him. He would promise not to speak to me like that again and I would believe him.

  The house Hunters that parents had rented for the summer was out of this world. A double-storey home, the bedrooms downstairs all had a patio that lead to the beach. Ben and Hunter shared a room and Mia and I got our own rooms, Hunter's parent’s room was upstairs.

  The second week went, well without a hitch; Hunter was trying very hard to make up for the things he said and done to me.

  Every morning just before sunrise I would get up to go for a run to clear my mind and then sit on the soft cool sand watching the sun come up and allow the sound of the ocean to calm me.

  I was in a good place. Hunter was sweet and gentle like he always was when he wanted something from me. I was just too happy to have this side of him and blind to see what was behind all this kindness.

  He decided it was time for us to seal our love. We were both virgins, or so I thought. I loved him; he was the guy I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Oh and how naive I was.

  After supper Hunter and I went for a “walk”, we made it to the rocks just out of sight of the house, he lay a blanket down for us an then pulled me into his chest.

  He told me how much he loved me, I was the only one he had ever loved and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. We kissed; it was mesmerizing, my fingers twisted in his hair. He put his left hand on the small of my back pulling me closer, his right hand cupping my breast.

  The world around us disappeared. Very slowly Hunter pulled my top over my head, next was my board shorts and bikini bottoms. In the moonlight I could see the lust in his eyes that sent an instant throb between my legs; I was already wet for him.

  I ran my fingers down the front of his chest to the hem of his shirt pulling it up and over his head. I stood on my toes reaching up to his wet lips. He placed his hands on my hips pulling me closer again. I felt his growing bulge against my stomach. I slipped my fingers into the waistband of his shorts, pulling it down till it dropped to his ankles; stepping out of it Hunter kicked it aside. We were both naked; he was perfect in every way, big broad shoulders, rock hard pecks and rippling abs, absolutely sinful. Very slowly Hunter moved his one hand from my hip to my stomach and down to my sex, gently probing, touching, and stroking me. He had one finger between my folds, in and out, kissing me passionately while slowly increasing the speed. I could feel my climax building. I was panting, with my fingers digging into his shoulder. Next thing I remember was him slipping two fingers into me spreading me and speeding up the tempo, before my mind could catch up with my body I climaxed. My legs gave way, thank god Hunter was still holding onto my hips.

  “Now you are ready for me”.

  Not even fully calmed from the climax I just had,

  Hunter lay down on the blanket and pulled me into him. I was lying on my back a little scared and a little worried; were we really going to do this? It was a big step for me as I always said I will wait until the day I was married. I loved Hunter and I would do anything to make him happy, this would make him happy. With his hand Hunter pushed my legs wide open,
he started kissing me, his wet lips on mine, claiming me, owning me, he trailed passionate kisses down my neck stopping on my breasts sucking and biting while his hand softly drew circles on my stomach before cupping my pussy. I think Hunter realized I was nervous and did a good job of taking my mind off it. He slipped his one finger into me again, slowly working it in and out his thumb rubbing my clit. My climax was building again. I put my arm over my mouth biting down so that I did not scream.

  "Take your arm away I want to see your face in the moonlight, don't worry no one is going to hear you"

  I lifted my arm and found Hunters blue eyes right above me, hovering.

  "Are you sure about this Cat?"

  I could not talk, I nodded yes. Hunter gently pushed away from me reaching for something in his shorts. I heard the rip of paper and saw him rolling a condom onto his rock-hard shaft. Hunter again spread my legs and settled between them. Leaning forward he placed his left hand next to my head and with his right hand he found his goal. Very slowly he slipped into my very tight and wet pussy. Hunter went very slowly; first just his tip, kissing me distracting me with words of how amazing my tits looked, how tight and velvety my pussy felt around him. With every thrust moving a little deeper, I could not take his slow tempo anymore and started to move with him increasing the rhythm. My climax was building again, one last hard thrust from Hunter, a sharp pain and then my climax. I could feel him stiffening inside me, pulsating inside of me, his eyes closed. Slowly we came down from our climax. He pulled out of me and came to lie next to me.